My friend skipped my wedding after RSVPing 'yes'. I sent her a bill for $200. She says that's tacky — who's right?
Wedding no-shows can cast a pall on an otherwise perfect day, especially if the person who doesn't show up is a parent, sibling or dear friend of the bride or groom.
It's sad enough when they tell you ahead of time that they aren't coming. But if they RSVP 'yes' and don't come, it's a financial hit as well as an emotional one.
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Imagine Paige and Brad, high school sweethearts in Austin, Texas, who've finished college and just held a hometown wedding. Their parents covered the venue. Paige and Brad paid for the catering — which came to $200 per person, including drink tickets.
Still paying off their student debt, they limited their guest list to 100 people. One of the people who made the list was Emmie, who set Paige up with Brad in the first place. Emmie has stayed in touch with them since moving to San Francisco and replied 'yes' to Paige's wedding invite.
Paige was looking forward to calling Emmie out as a matchmaker in her wedding speech. But she ended up calling her out a week later for being a no-explanation no-show.
Still sore about Emmie's failure to show up, she texted her a copy of the catering bill featuring the $200 a person fee, suggesting Emmie pay up for the meal she missed.
Emmie texted back that the reason she didn't come to Austin was that she couldn't afford it, let alone a wedding present, but was too embarrassed to say so. She added that Paige's sending her the bill was "tacky".
Now Paige is wondering if Emmie's right. Here's a look at the etiquette around no-show wedding guests — from both the host's point of view and the no-shows themselves.
No-shows don't have to ruin a wedding
Doing what Paige did to her no-show is a no-no, Cassie Morales, owner of Heavenly Day Events, told The Knot.
"It's not common or considered polite etiquette to invoice guests," she said. "If you were to send a bill to wedding no-shows, it would likely hurt relationships more than it would recoup money."
While it's hard for a bride and groom to imagine their guests ghosting their wedding, it happens. Morales and Cheryl Fernandes of Glitzzy Events deal with no-shows all the time.
