Strengthening Leadership Presence with Emotional Skills

This Teacher Changes 30 Lives Each Morning Here's Why This Works Every morning, a teacher greets her students one by one - not with rules, but with choice: A hug, A high-five, a nod, or quiet. A ritual so simple. Yet it tells 30 children: You are seen. You are safe. You belong. Here’s what this teaches us about leadership - and how to apply it at work: 1. Honor Autonomy (Self-Determination Theory) When people get to choose how they engage, they show up with more agency. Autonomy isn’t about letting go of structure - it’s about giving room to opt in. Try this: 🔷 Let people set their own work cadence - async, deep focus, or collaborative sprints 🔷 Ask: “What support looks best for you right now?” *** 2. Create Micro-Moments of Connection (Broaden-and-Build Theory) We don’t need hour-long one-on-ones to build trust. A genuine check-in. A name spoken with intention. That’s the glue. Try this: 🔷 Pause to celebrate effort, not just outcomes - a quick voice note, a public thank-you 🔷 Remember small details - a kid’s soccer game, a partner’s surgery - and follow up *** 3. Signal Safety in Small Ways (Polyvagal Theory) The nervous system responds before the intellect does. Safety is felt first. And safe leaders create brave spaces. Try this: 🔷 Ask: “Is now a good time?” before giving feedback or asking for decisions 🔷 Stay calm and present, especially when tensions rise - your tone sets the tone *** 4. Design for Anticipatory Joy (Affective Forecasting) The brain lights up for what’s coming next. The ritual at the door gave students a reason to show up smiling. Try this: 🔷 Drop a kind, unexpected message in the team chat - just because 🔷 Celebrate mundane milestones - 100 days in the role, 50th client call, 1st brave no *** 5. Anchor Culture in Meaningful Rituals (Harvard Research on Rituals) Rituals are memory-makers. They codify values in action - they say, this is who we are. Try this: 🔷 End each quarter with storytelling: what stretched us? what did we learn? 🔷 Welcome new hires not with logistics, but with a story of your team's "why" *** This teacher didn’t redesign the curriculum. She redesigned how people enter the day. You don’t need a big title to lead like that - Just the courage to meet people at the door. 💬 What’s one ritual you’ve seen shift the energy of a space - or want to create where you work? 🔁 Repost to inspire kind actions in the workplace. 🔔 Follow Bhavna Toor for more on conscious leadership.

The leader who says "we have high accountability" and the team that says "we're walking on eggshells" are often describing the same culture. I was reminded of this disconnects in a thought provoking session on innovative cultures last week led by Gary Pisano. I see the disconnect often in my advisory work. A senior leader tells me they believe they've built a culture of accountability. People deliver, standards are clear, and so are consequences. Then I talk to their team. And what I hear is quite different: people don't raise problems early because they're afraid of being blamed, they don't ask for help because it looks like weakness, they achieve their numbers but hide their mistakes. The leader sees accountability, but the team feels something close to... well, surveillance. Amy Edmondson's work on psychological safety tells us that accountability and psychological safety are independent dimensions. Many teams get the combination wrong. One of her frameworks maps four quadrants. The one I see often in my work is high accountability with low safety, what she calls the Anxiety Zone. Results happen, but they happen through pressure rather than genuine ownership. People deliver because they're afraid of what happens if they don't. Three questions can help a leader figure out which quadrant they're actually in: (1) When was the last time someone on your team told you about a mistake before you discovered it yourself? If you can't remember, you're probably in the anxiety zone. Mistakes are likely happening, but people have learned it's safer to hide them. (2) Do people on your team ask for help, or do they only report results? If your team only comes to you with finished work and polished updates, they are engaging in self-protection. (3) What happens to the person who misses a target but raised the risk early? If they're treated the same as the person who missed and said nothing, your culture is punishing candor and people have noticed. And as Gary noted in the session, "Candor is [possibly] the scarcest organizational resource." I get it: it is hard for a leader to hear is that the accountability they're proud of might be fear wearing a different name. But recognizing this might be the case is often a key first step in building a team culture where psychological safety, candor, and accountability are all present. #candor #innovation #accountability #safety

The higher you climb in leadership, the more you're taught to lie. Not about numbers. About being human. Forbes just revealed that 88% of C-suite executives expect change to accelerate this year. And over 80% of HR professionals say leaders aren't equipped to handle it. But here's what the studies won't tell you: Those executives are exhausted. And they're not allowed to admit it. I see this wall everywhere I work. The higher leaders climb, the less human they're permitted to be. The paradigm is suffocating: →Be motivational, never exhausted →Be inspirational, never uncertain →Project hope, hide the struggle →Show empathy, but NEVER vulnerability "Vulnerability is weakness," they tell themselves. This is wrong. Catastrophically wrong. I witnessed the breakthrough with a multi-billion dollar energy company CEO. He insisted: "I'm not an emotional person. I don't talk about feelings." His company was being acquired. His people were drowning. Then he did something revolutionary. He admitted from stage: "There are even some nights where I'm terrified." A board member's response? "I've never felt that level of engagement before." Why? Because empathy without humanity is performance. And people know the difference. Forbes says leaders must "start with themselves" - manage their energy, understand their 'why,' tap into different energy sources. But here's what nobody's saying: The leaders who will thrive in the next decade do THREE things differently: 1. They pour into themselves first Not selfishness. Survival. You can't navigate others through change when you're running on empty. 2. They share emotions confidently Not emotional dumping. Strategic vulnerability. There's power in saying "this is hard" without apologizing for it. 3. They delegate from strength, not exhaustion Taking that day off. Letting someone else take the executive meeting. Not because you can't, but because developing others requires you to step back. The retail giant I worked with proved this. We taught 200+ managers to process emotions, not suppress them. Result? 30% increase in digital adoption. Their people felt more empowered because their leaders finally admitted they were human. When you're honest about your struggle, something magical happens: →Your empathy becomes real, not performed →Your team stops hiding their challenges →Your people feel permitted to be human too The executive who pretends everything's fine while suppressing their emotional energy? They're the ones whose teams feel least empowered. Least trusting. Least engaged. Your people don't need you to have all the answers. They need you to be real about finding them. The strongest leaders aren't those who never struggle. They're those who've learned to share their struggle in service of others' strength. What would happen if you took tomorrow off and let your team handle that big meeting? What are you afraid they'd discover? (Or what might YOU discover?) Article in the comments!

The outdated belief that women are "too emotional" to lead must be put to rest. This misconception not only misrepresents women’s leadership abilities but also overlooks how emotions can be a powerful asset in effective leadership. Also, the way emotions are displayed in leadership is still assessed differently based on gender, with female leaders often penalised for expressing emotions that defy traditional gender norms. However, recent research exploring how men and women leaders navigated the emotional challenges of the COVID-19 pandemic differently found that women may be less likely to let their emotions influence their leadership decisions compared to men. While anxiety levels rose across the board during the pandemic, women were less likely to let this emotion dictate their leadership style. Instead, they consistently prioritised team support and care, regardless of their own stress levels. The study drew on theories around emotions and uncertainty, revealing that men’s leadership was more influenced by their emotional state—often leading to less supportive behaviours under anxiety. Conversely, women refrained from negative behaviours and provided steady, family-supportive supervision, challenging the stereotype that they are more irrational under pressure. These findings underscore a crucial point: caring, empathetic leadership is not only a strength but a necessity, especially in uncertain times. As we navigate complex work environments, it’s time to dispel gender biases and redefine what effective leadership looks like. Read the full study here: https://lnkd.in/epnzQYJd Disclaimer: The study’s sample was primarily made up of cisgender men and women, mostly heterosexual, and therefore may not fully reflect the experiences of individuals with diverse gender identities and sexual orientations. Further research including these groups is needed for a more comprehensive understanding.

📍Too many leaders still see emotional control as a private trait or a “soft skill.” But research paints a different picture: Leaders with high emotional regulation capacity don’t just stay calm, they make better decisions, reduce team burnout, and boost collective performance. Lets have a look at the data: 🔹 𝗗𝗲𝗰𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗤𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 Studies like Grecucci et al. (2015) show that emotional regulation, especially cognitive reappraisal, improves leaders ability to process complex decisions under stress. Instead of reacting impulsively, regulated leaders evaluate risk with clarity. 🔹 𝗧𝗲𝗮𝗺 𝗧𝗿𝘂𝘀𝘁 & 𝗣𝘀𝘆𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗴𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗦𝗮𝗳𝗲𝘁𝘆 A study published in The Leadership Quarterly (Little et al., 2016) found that leaders, who regulate negative emotions create safer environments for employees. Emotional overreactivity, on the other hand, erodes trust - very often unconsciously. 🔹 𝗣𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗨𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝗣𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝘂𝗿𝗲 In a meta-analysis by Cote (2014), emotional regulation was directly linked to task performance, especially under high-stakes or uncertain conditions. 𝗦𝗼 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁? Emotional regulation is not about being “nice.” 𝗜𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗳𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗲𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲. Especially when stakes are high. It has to be a leadership imperative. 🔸What’s your take on emotional regulation? #leadership #empowerment #emotions #experience #business #psychology

"I can’t afford to show my team how I really feel." I hear this a lot from leaders - especially those who care deeply about their people. They believe that showing stress, uncertainty, or doubt would only make things worse. So they keep it in. They stay “strong.” They put on the armor. But here’s the paradox: 🦾 When you armor up to protect your team, you often end up doing the opposite. - You block trust. - You create distance. - You make it harder for others to speak up or be real themselves. 🧠 There’s a psychological concept for this: Affective Presence. It’s the emotional atmosphere we bring into the room - the way people feel around us, regardless of what we say. Even if you don’t talk about your anxiety, your team still senses it. Humans are wired that way. And when leaders hide what’s real, it creates tension and confusion, not safety. 💡 What to do about it - NAME IT: “This is tough, and I feel pressure too, but we’ll get through it together” When leaders name what they’re feeling in a calm and grounded way: tension releases. Connection builds. People relax and they engage. 🧠 This is Co-Regulation - a key ingredient of psychological safety. When the leader brings openness and calm, the team feels more secure. And safety is the foundation of high performance and inclusive leadership. So next time you feel like hiding your stress to protect your team, consider this: 👉 Your honesty might be the very thing that unlocks their performance. P.S. Have you ever experienced a leader whose calm honesty made you feel safer? I’d love to hear what kind of affective presence has shaped your experience at work. --------------------------------- 👋 New here? Welcome! I'm Susanna. I help organizations with high-performing, inclusive leadership and culture by fostering psychological safety.

We can’t keep calling them “tough conversations” because if that’s how we see them, we’ll keep avoiding them. Few leaders enjoy conversations where something needs to be said, but saying it might cause discomfort. BUT every great leader has learned how to have them. 👉 Avoiding them leads to confusion and resentment. 👉 Handling them badly leads to conflict and defensiveness. 👉 Handling them well leads to trust, clarity, and respect. Tough conversations aren’t about being tough on people- they’re about being clear with people. When something isn’t working- a behaviour, a performance issue, a broken agreement- silence doesn’t protect relationships. It slowly damages them. People can feel when you’re frustrated but not saying it. They fill in the blanks themselves, often imagining the worst. Tough conversations are not about winning or losing. They’re about understanding and alignment. When your goal is to be right, the other person becomes defensive. When your goal is to learn and clarify, the other person becomes open. 💡Top Tips Approach each conversation with three intentions: 1️⃣ Clarity...What’s really going on here? 2️⃣ Care...How can I express this in a way that respects both of us? 3️⃣ Curiosity... What might I be missing? When clarity, care, and curiosity work together, conversations shift from confrontation to collaboration. Honest conversation, even when uncomfortable, is an act of respect. It says, “You matter enough for me to be honest with you.” That’s why great leaders don’t avoid conversations. They approach them with preparation, care, and clarity. Because a tough conversation, done well, can strengthen a relationship- not damage it. You can’t build accountability without honesty. You can’t build trust without transparency. When you speak the truth with genuine care, you’re not making life difficult, you’re being a leader.

I have watched two supervisors manage two separate disruptions in the same terminal on the same evening. Same reason for the disruptions. Same organisation. Completely different outcomes. Here is what made the difference. The first supervisor arrived at the gate area and moved quickly between counters. "What's the update on the aircraft? Why haven't we made an announcement? Where's the information from operations?" His voice carried urgency. Employees tightened visibly. Some began speaking faster. Others hesitated before responding to passenger questions. The second supervisor arrived at a different gate. She spoke briefly with her team before turning toward the passengers. "Ladies and gentlemen, we understand the weather this evening has affected several flights. We are monitoring the situation closely and will update you. Thank you for your patience." Her tone was measured. Her posture was composed. The environment around her gate settled. The disruption was identical at both gates. The leadership was not. In operational environments, leaders communicate through more than words. They communicate through tone. Through body language. Through whether they appear calm or reactive. Employees observe this. Customers feel it. Leadership behaviour at the frontline is not a personal matter. It is a highly visible operational variable. What leadership behaviour have you seen that changed the atmosphere of an entire environment? #LeadershipBehaviour #FrontlineLeadership #OperationalLeadership #AviationLeadership

In a world obsessed with productivity hacks, your ability to distinguish between genuine problems and "small stuff" determines your leadership effectiveness. According to the Harvard Business Review 2024 Cognitive Leadership study, executives who practice emotional regulation outperform reactive peers by 37% in decision quality and demonstrate 42% higher team engagement scores. Here are three ways I advise clients to stop sweating the small stuff for extraordinary leadership results: 👉 Implement the "90-Second Rule." Emotional reactions chemically dissipate within 90 seconds unless mentally extended. Create a pause practice before responding to triggers, allowing natural emotional processing to complete. 👉 Adopt "Future-Frame Questioning." When facing apparent problems, immediately ask: "Will this matter in one year?" This cognitive reframing activates prefrontal cortex functions over amygdala reactions. 👉 Practice "Mindful Transitions." Take 30-second conscious breaks between activities to release previous task attachments completely. This prevents emotional carryover and compartmentalizes stressors. Neuroscience confirms this approach works: reduced cortisol production improves executive function, creativity, and relationship quality at a neurological level. Your leadership impact isn't built on reacting to everything—it emerges from responding only to what truly matters. Need help implementing this? Let's connect. #executivecoaching #productivity #mindset