Tell me more!

We live in an increasingly singular, yet ‘wanting to multiply’ era. When you see people around you, you either see them put about 26 kilos on their head. Well, researchers state that every time you bend your head to watch your phone, that action of yours is equivalent to applying a pressure of about 26 kilos on your neck.

 If they are not on phone, they are most probably tuned into their respective music worlds with the help of headphones. Carpooling is yet to succeed in any part of the world (critics may disagree) for the simple reasons that people prefer to stay singular and hold on to the mask called privacy.

 Yet there are times when someone really wants to share a moment with others, and they open up.  It could be your colleague at work or a friend on the phone or someone in your family, stranger passing by or your known friend on chat.

 When you see expressions like “I had a great day”, “my weekend has been awesome”, “had a bad argument with my boss”, “my wife packed food for me after a long time”, “my husband dropped me today” and so on, these are moments which folks want to share.

 During these moments of willingness to share, one throws their heart wide open and is looking forward to multiply those moments. This is a place and opportunity for us to empathize.

 Imagine yourselves in a situation like the above and I can bet you that 70% of the time, you would respond something like “great” or “why” or “hmmm”

 The door shuts down.

 In my experience, I have always noted that as and when I used the word “why”, the other person almost always went into a shell and started justifying the action rather than reliving the moment. The door starts to shut down.

 How could we keep the door open? After all, this is a moment to cherish and an opportunity for us to walk together.

 “Tell me more”

 “Tell me more” is an awesome phrase to use. It helps you to understand their world. Folks on the other side feel empathetic and get a clear sign that you are willing to engage in a conversation. It could be just couple of minutes but “tell me more” lets people to relive the moment than the action. Of course, only if you are willing to spend and invest that 2 minutes.

 Next time when someone walks up to you and starts to share, do say “tell me more” with an appropriate expression. Do not forget to share your learning back to me. I will be always waiting to shoot my empathy probe of “tell me more”.

PS: Of the many things I learned in my one week stint @ Stanford d School, the biggest take away was “tell me more”. Last week, when we were put on streets of San Francisco and asked to talk to strangers and capture information, I could see the real power of “tell me more”!

 Do watch this space for more such shares of mine.