By Alec Meer on February 4th, 2014 at 5:00 pm.
Firstly: this a tech demo that’s right now is basically just for fun, rather than marking an abrupt change of direction for Sanctum devs Coffee Stain Studios.
Secondly: awwwwww. Hope they wind up doing something with it anyway.
Thirdly: GOAT SIMULATOR.
And also, more goatily, this:
Goats are dicks, man.
Basically it’s Just Cause with a goat. And there is nothing whatsoever unhappy about that sentence.
Things to know:
1) it’s made in Unreal Engine 3
2) “We’re just playing around a bit with programming stuff, this is not our next big IP, calm yourselves journalists”, but “it is a *real* game, we made it. It’s just that it’s not finished and we don’t have any particular plans with it.”
3) Follow this chap if you want regular updates about where this is going.
Please. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease make this, and release it. Otherwise I’ll eat your laundry.
04/02/2014 at 17:03 Drake Sigar says:
That goat left nothing alive.
04/02/2014 at 20:55 Gap Gen says:
Coming soon to PC: Tom Clancy’s Goat Recon.
EDIT: I am so glad this exists: http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7226/7302583052_541e311257_z.jpg
06/02/2014 at 08:13 borkbork says:
No goats, no glory!
04/02/2014 at 17:05 shaydeeadi says:
The Skype and Facebook sounds confused me.
05/02/2014 at 09:00 LordDamien says:
Same here, I was frantically switching windows and checking devices, trying to find what was the origin of it.
04/02/2014 at 17:07 MuscleHorse says:
Seems a little gruff around the edges.
04/02/2014 at 17:10 Volcanu says:
Jeez what’s got your goat?
04/02/2014 at 17:30 cafeoh says:
I herd he went for a nice crutch but the result ended up shear sheep.
When paying the billy he realized he had to pay mutton more than he should, and wooly hadn’t goat the bang for his bucks.
04/02/2014 at 18:30 Silverchain says:
I fear they’re trolling…
04/02/2014 at 17:19 Low Life says:
Who cares, I’ve been waiting for this game since I was a kid!
04/02/2014 at 17:22 Lord Custard Smingleigh says:
They couldn’t keep milking the success of Sanctum.
04/02/2014 at 17:39 Gap Gen says:
Nah, if sales keep up they could do it for chèvre and chèvre.
04/02/2014 at 18:02 boundless08 says:
They feta start a kick starter soon!
04/02/2014 at 17:24 Lanfranc says:
They just focused on the baaaah-sics, nothing wrong with that.
04/02/2014 at 18:48 Gap Gen says:
Right, once they add more features it’ll feel more com-bleat.
04/02/2014 at 19:26 Turkey says:
I’m going to wait for the sequel. I hear it’s much bigger.
04/02/2014 at 20:49 SRTie4k says:
It makes for some great EweTube videos, though.
04/02/2014 at 17:11 rustybroomhandle says:
Ya know, in a weird coincidence I was just looking for a song about goats today, and a happened upon a little number by the legendary Wesley Willis. Yuppers: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ldKppskdsY
04/02/2014 at 18:03 Neuchacho says:
Enjoy this piece of terrible goat-music history…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CYaU3x_nRU
05/02/2014 at 09:09 Hodge says:
Goat-related music history? I’M GLAD YOU ASKED.
04/02/2014 at 17:13 aeonofdiscord says:
GOTY.
04/02/2014 at 17:26 InnerPartisan says:
I can’t wait for the GOATSE edition.
(Come on, people. You all know some one had to make that joke.)
04/02/2014 at 19:22 Cardinal says:
Goat-Z surely…
05/02/2014 at 08:01 Low Life says:
Oh wow. I’ll need to write this down for future reference.
04/02/2014 at 22:17 Darth Gangrel says:
I’ll wait for the Combleet Goatzilla Edition. I ain’t like those sheep who will lamb-ast anyone who tries to think differently.
04/02/2014 at 17:26 toby1kenobi says:
GOATY
05/02/2014 at 07:07 Grover says:
Greatest Of All Time. GOAT
05/02/2014 at 19:11 TimePointFive says:
PGOAT
04/02/2014 at 17:28 Mud says:
Learn to code
04/02/2014 at 21:12 12inchPlasticToy says:
…performed by the Moo Fighters?
04/02/2014 at 17:44 Janichsan says:
Why is this not yet on Kickstarter??
05/02/2014 at 08:47 bstard says:
Yeh! Among all the BS sims this one could be funny.
04/02/2014 at 17:46 Sami H says:
City? check
Graphical glitches? check
Player transformed into something oddly awesome? check
Yep, looks like a potential mini-game for the next Saint’s Row.
04/02/2014 at 17:59 antelpe says:
Add psychedelic visual effects and send it to Jeff Minter.
04/02/2014 at 20:57 Gap Gen says:
That car collision is basically the insurance fraud level. Also that neck. Man.
04/02/2014 at 17:49 someguyxx says:
This looks great, and probably will be hilarious to play, but you have to wonder how much more mileage people can get out of the whole “Mundane Thingy Simulator 20XX” idea.
04/02/2014 at 17:51 Vinraith says:
He’s the stair master. He has mastered the stairs.
04/02/2014 at 17:54 quietone says:
Expect to hear from our lawyers:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3g9b1sOc_S4
04/02/2014 at 17:58 Shuck says:
“this is not our next big IP”
WHY NOT?! Man, some game devs have such a misplaced sense of priorities…
04/02/2014 at 19:12 Jorum says:
My daughters would definitely play this.
On a serious note, an open world game that lets you explore AND that’s not full of guns, axes and murder would be great for my 4yr old.
04/02/2014 at 19:27 Chorltonwheelie says:
Jeff Minter won’t be happy.
04/02/2014 at 20:58 Gap Gen says:
Uh, did you see that bucket headshot? Brutal.
04/02/2014 at 22:46 alms says:
OMG the first video is genius!
05/02/2014 at 00:32 OscarWilde1854 says:
I see a silence of the lambs sequel…. Silence of the Goats… Waaaay scarier than the original… include some scenes of that goat climbing up the crane, Bucket headshot, getting hit by a Toyota NuclearPoweredPrius (Not sure how else the goat managed to get knocked 65km and nearly off the map), goats trashing a birthday party! It’s all gripping and absolutely horrifying!!
05/02/2014 at 08:59 LordDamien says:
Put lasers on that goat and you have a sale here!
05/02/2014 at 11:24 Chaz says:
They should have used a donkey and called it Jack Ass.
05/02/2014 at 08:37 Tom Walker says:
Go home, Laura, you’re drunk.