I’m part of a single parent group and we were discussing having more children. A donor mum said her child will most likely have siblings because the donor in theory could have donated to other women etc.

which got me thinking as my ex has three children (one he doesn’t have a relationship with) and also my child who he doesn’t have a relationship with.

so in theory my child does have half siblings but should I tell him and when? We don’t have a relationship, none of us.

I posted on here in summer for advice to get sandals to fit my awful bunions and got some great suggestions so am back, this time looking for everyday winter boots.

I have had bunions since I was a teenager but since getting pregnant last year, the bunion on my right foot has significantly worsened and footwear is extremely uncomfortable - i can't wear any of my old shoes and even with wider ones I find it aches. I know that surgery is the answer but it won't be possible for some time with a baby due to the lengthy recovery process. I actually feel very worried about how I will cope over the next few years if it continues to worsen.

I have tried to include a pic but got an error message saying it was too large - if anyone knows how to get around this then let me know and I will include one so you can see what I am dealing with.

As an aside, if anyone knows how to prevent bunions from getting worse then I am all ears!

Suddenly needed to use the toilet (ibs) in M&S, a lady walked in and kept saying. "Oh god it stinks in here!" Over and over again to everyone in the queue.
aibu or is that a bit mean!? It's a toilet after all. I ended up having to stay in the cubicle for ages because then i was too embarrassed to walk out after she'd been telling everyone over and over again that it stinks.
i did flush multiple times to try and avoid too much smell but I'm not sure what else I could have done.

Just that really. I can’t believe this is happening. I feel like I’m in a nightmare. We have a 3 year old DD. The OW sent me a message from a private instagram account because H had blocked her actual accounts on my phone without my knowledge. He works with her.

He’d gone to her birthday party which I knew about. Didn’t come home until after 4am which isn’t normal for him so I wasn’t happy and we had plans the next day. He said they’d all gone somewhere after the party. Turns out he was with her in a hotel down the road. This was weeks ago and he hadn’t told me.

When I confronted him he eventually admitted it. Said that he couldn’t explain it at first. Then said that there was distance between us and he was weak and naive. We were arguing a lot. He’s been struggling with his mental health and I’ve been doing my best to support him whilst working full-time in a stressful job. I thought we were just going through a rough patch.

I’m literally shaking. I don’t have a lot of family and I haven’t told anyone IRL yet. He says it doesn’t have to be over. But it does doesn’t it?

I’m trying to book a holiday but DH said his mate from work goes to this holiday spot every single year and he’d been telling him all about it and would be able to give us some great advice. I know how this goes … DH will hang on this guys every word no matter what I say so I said to him “ok, well I’m a bit stuck on hotels so ask him about that tomorrow (today)”

Do he comes home from work tonight and this was the convo

Me: did you ask your mate about hotels?
DH: yeah he was saying he goes every year without fail so they know all about it
Me: ok, what did he say about hotels?
DH: well, normally they go in November time but he was saying this time he got a last minute deal for October!
Me: and what did he say about hotels?
Dh: well he knows how how to get the best deals, he said they pay £3k max, nothing like the prices you were getting
Me: did you ask him about hotels??
DH: yeah he said you should ring him and he’ll tell you all about it …

At this point he starts to do an impression of me ringing this guy up complete with me typing the numbers, holding the phone to my ear waiting for an answer, saying hello etc etc … I let this ridiculousness complete and then said …

Me: well it’s just hotels I’m interested in really, did you ask him?
DH: Yeah, he recommended a few, he said you don’t need anything fancy
Me: DH!! Can you just tell me the hotels he recommended for the love of god!?
DH: I wrote them down but left the paper at work, I’ll get it tomorrow

FFS he could have just come in and said “spoke to mate, I’ve left the recommendations at work though so I’ll get them tomorrow”

WTF does he do this?? He does it all the time! It’s like he deliberately withholds the important information you’re waiting for but why?

WIBU for snapping at him and telling him what a waste of time that whole conversation was?

I don't know what to say but I'm really struggling. I'm a single mum with disabled children- no support.

I'm struggling financially (because I've had to leave my job), struggling emotionally. It's very full on. I'm shattered constantly. I can't keep up with their needs.

I've requested help from social care but was award nothing.

I have some minor health issues which are a problem because I don't always take my meds.

I feel broken. I'm really lonely.

Every bit of my life is falling apart. I'm not doing a good job at anything.

My sleep is awful..

I don't know how to begin to improve life.

Help me MNetters. I am early 40s and finding my own style again after years of running after small children. Fashion has changed in the last 10 or 15 years (where has the time gone) and I’m feeling a bit lost. What do you think of these trainers to go with wide leg trousers? I liked the idea of the leopard print but wasnt convinced when I tried them on. Are they good or just naff? I don’t usually wear leopard print but love it on others. Should I play it safe with the chocolate suede trainers or no?

I do frequent long haul travel for work so they seemed like quite comfy options.

Option 1 - Leopard Print https://www.johnlewis.com/carvela-veneto-leopard-print-trainers-multi/p115479724?size=5

Option 2 - Chocolate suede
https://www.selfridges.com/GB/en/product/carvela-daze-suede-trainers_R04660722/#colour=DARK%20BROWN

I know I've got issues about this but I need advice.
We live in the tiniest house. Miniscule. 8ft x 9ft kitchen. Tiny box 3rd bedroom. No hallway, no entrance way, front door leads straight in to lounge. Stairs lead straight on to front door. Not enough room fo 2 people to stand by door to remove or put on shoes, we all have to go in to lounge just to put shoes/coats on. I hate it and it's a daily huge stress. The whole entire house upstairs and downstairs is 85m2. The back garden is the size of most people's front gardens.
So it was meant to be a 5 year home when we bought it 11 years ago when DC were pre-school. That was the plan.
They're now teenagers both as big as adults.
And we never moved after 5 years.
And we can't move now.
Me & DH are both NHS staff (me midwife him paramedic) and suffered horrendously with the 10 year long NHS pay freeze whilst at the same time COL soared. We became significantly worse off financially. Meanwhile our 5 year fixed rate mortgage deal ended 3 years ago and when we re-fixed the interest rate had significantly risen and our monthly repayments doubled. Worst of all, our long term plan for me to increase from part time when dc were little to full time now they're older has failed because both dc have SEN, ND, high levels of anxiety, developmental delay, school difficulties, and basically both need me around when they are not at school. So I only work whilst they are at school for 25 hours a week. DD is on the verge of school refusal and I'm endlessly worrying about how I will work at all if she actually refuses long term. She is under CAMHS. Whilst DS is having weekly counselling. I can't work any more hours than I do, meaning I can't increase our income. Meanwhile DH earns a salary which is a shit amount where we live for the main breadwinner. DH had the opportunity to develop into a higher pay band but it required him to do a masters which he turned down on the basis that he is struggling with his mental health enough as it is without adding more pressure from stuying whilst still working on top of family commitments, so this means he's closed the door on increasing his salary. I feel angry that he's not pushing himself for us financially when we so desperately need more money; he can see how much strain I'm under working every school day then straight home to start looking after 2 teenagers with extensive needs. I don't stop, I'm run ragged and he returns from work daily at 9pm so I get no help whatsoever.
So we can't move. We're stuck in this tiny house that we never meant to stay in for this long. Stepping up the ladder is unachievable for us.
We live in an expensive area. Our house is tiny but we chose it at the time because it's on a lovely street, in a beautiful area surrounded by countryside. What I didn't consider is that we bought the smallest house in an area filled with 4 bed detached houses or significantly extended semi detached with whopping great rear extensions and luxurious loft conversions.
Anyway I now feel crushed that we can't provide a bigger home for DC. They really notice now. They both get grouchy and irritable by the lack of space. DS stopped inviting friends round about 2 years ago. I keep asking him why and he won't answer but I know it's because all his friends live in massive 4 bed detached houses, in our very affluent neighborhood. He goes to theirs or meets them out instead. And DD asks to have friends for sleepovers but there isn't enough room for someone else to sleep in her boxroom. DD is endlessly asking why we can't get an extension on our kitchen like all her friends houses.
And now DS has been invited to a birthday party at someone's house. I checked their address out on Rightmove. And guess what. It's yet another massive 4 bed detached house with a football pitch sized garden. It is only natural that DS 15 is going to compare it to where we live.
I don't know what I'm asking from this post. But I'm angry and tired and disillusioned and poor. I think I need advice about how to deal with feeling embarrassed towards my own DC for not being able to provide a family home that's big enough for a family to be able to actually function in. I feel like sitting them down and apologising. But there's no hope of doing anything to give us more space.
I have looked at this friends house with the birthday party invite and now I feel like a failure. Just like I feel everytime my DC get invited to all their friends massive houses. I want to be able to provide a big house for my DC but I can't. We are literally the only family in this village living in such a tiny house.

I recently had a really bad experience with an online shop. It’s a long and complicated story but ordered something, I got an order confirmation and they took payment. It was quite a lot of money around £150.

I never heard anything, no dispatch notification and eventually I contacted customer services and they had no record of the order. They said it would be automatically refunded but it wasn’t. So I had to contact to them again, this time they said that the order had been delivered. Well it hadn’t.

I eventually managed to get a refund about 4 weeks later after contacting the head office, I spent a considerable amount of time chasing it up and spent hours on the phone as when you ring up you’re placed in a queue. Live chat is just an ai bot.

It was very stressful and on one occasion on I was more or less called a liar and that the order had been delivered. It turned out to be a ghost order that had never gone through due to a glitch.

About 3 weeks later again over randomly had an email saying that they are processing my refund and the money has arrived back in my bank account So now I’ve essentially been refunded twice.

Be honest, would you bother letting them know? It’s a large company, I know technically the right thing to do is let them know, but part of me thinks sod th, why should I spend another hour on the phone trying to get through they’ve messed me around enough.

still discussing the delightful escapades of our favourite twosome!

im a different shape after pregnancy and I thought size 18 Tu skirt as my big belly will get into 16 but it’s tight around mum tum.

sea salt Cornwall have a discount sale on coats so I’ve got tma size 18, but how worried it wikk be too big.

any thoughts?

Am I being daft, or do I just not get all the hype about this and wonder how much is going to sell?

For instance, these are lovely dresses: Here and Here

But they are £700,mostly made of polyamide, and for that money you could get a decent, better made dress from a mid-level designer. What does anyone else think? Maybe I'm spectacularly missing the point :)

Just looking for any advice at all. I'm 35, partner is 38 and we're TTC first baby.
I have been taking the seven seas trying for a baby tablets, and using the ovulation sticks. I am on sertraline (not sure if this is the issue).

But we are still not managing.

is there any advice at all? Has anyone TTC while on AD?

TIA xx

I don't buy or sell large amounts on vinted & generally buy new with tags.
I recently bought a Maje tweed jacket & a sezane shirt both marked new without tags & was surprised at the geneal lack of care taken. The shirt was rolled up in a wrinkled ball & smelt strongly of perfume on the collar. Clearly had not been washed before posting

The jacket was likewise clearly worn.

I threw the shirt straight into the washing machine but the jacket can't be washed so i'll prob end up getting it dry cleaned

On the other hand i sold 2 blouses & i washed & ironed them, wrapped in tissue paper before packing so whoever opens them will get a clean, fresh, folded shirt

I can't imagine plucking a worn shirt from my wardrobe & rolling it to to shove it in an envelope!

I came home tonight to find a handwritten envelope that had been posted through Royal Mail, signed for delivery.
we hadn’t signed for it, it was just through the letterbox and had my address but no name in

opened the letter and it’s a letter addressed to the previous owner, a male who must be at least early 60’s ( not lived in the house for approx 7 years)
the letter is from a potential child of theirs saying they’ve been informed previous owner may be their biological dad and asking if he would get in touch

The letter is signed with first and last name but no contact number or address

would I be unreasonable to do nothing? I feel if I start trying to see if I have previous owners forwarding address still then I’m sticking my nose in something that doesn’t involve me.
equally, I feel if I do nothing then this person will assume previous owner has received the letter and chosen not to reach out.

what would you do, if anything?

A family member of a close relative of mine has died and his partner wants the local church for the service then on to the crematorium. He wasn’t religious at all (neither is she) so obviously never attended church. From the church’s pov, I’m sure they’d be more than happy to hold the service of a nonbeliever, but to wonder why people chose such a location when the crematorium offers services?

I think it would be very unusual for a non-believer to want to have a service in a mosque or a synagogue or any other place of worship, but some how it doesn’t seem as odd for a non believer to want their loved ones service to be held in a church? My relative is wondering why not just go to the crem under the circumstances and it’s hypocritical to want a church. I suppose they are beautiful buildings!

I've never been on style and beauty for outfit suggestions (but have offered a few) but need some help with an outfit. I am attending a wedding in Athens at the start of November and I have bought an outfit but now worried I'll be really hot as it's still 25 degrees.

This is what I have ordered

https://www.sezane.com/en-en/product/michele-jacket/curcuma#size-4 (the full suit) - it's not arrived yet and I am also having doubts about the colour.

I don't really wear dresses but open to suggestions - although I have looked at loads and can't see anything that's v me. The wedding bit will be quite formal but we're going to my friend's family taverna for the party bit and that will be less so.

I am not really into frilly things or florals, really love trouser suits, but would be open to the right dress or co-ord and budget up to £350. I normally keep things quite simple and classic.

Late 40s, size 10 and 5 8".

Thank you!

my son is 23 now and has adhd he finks he,s autistic but he,s clever and he,s hard work as he,s been in care since he was 18

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Leaving partners and children themselves out of it 😄 — what’s one thing that repeatedly wastes your time, costs you money or drives you mad?

Something you dealt with this week would be ideal. What would you want a product, app or device to actually do for you?

Have you bought anything to solve it already? What was still missing?

I’m exploring potential product ideas, so this is market research. There’s nothing being sold here.

This eBay seller is having a laugh, surely?

“His hobby” “Person A and person B” Or even worse “Person A-let’s call them Sid”

Someone I work with is retiring in a couple of years aged 50.

I have the same plan but I'm only just 40.

We were chatting about it the other day at work, and a couple of people were or acted completely befuddled by the situation. When the lady in question went to the toilet, a couple of people starting up with "But how on earth will she afford it?"

I don't get it.

Surely it's not extraordinarily strange and incomprehensible to realise that a couple with high-paid jobs, a fairly normal lifestyle and no children will be able to retire very early?!

Am I missing something? I've run my own numbers and 50 seems very comfortable but I worry I've completely overlooked something with how incredulous these other colleagues were!

DD is 5 and has the most gorgeous curls, which I love, but I'm honestly at a loss with how to look after them. I've bought SO many products. They mostly smell cheap, do nothing, or, in some cases, leave her hair greasy and with a weird texture! The products I use on my hair, in contrast, do wonders for her hair too. But they cost more and I always feel worried the ingredients are not suitable for her. Is it just me? What do you do with your DC's curls, and did you ever find something that actually works? Or have you just given up and gone for a bun every day? 😂 Send help please!

Today was my first day at a new job - one I am very lucky to have. I probably wouldn’t find another one as good again. Not going in tomorrow will look very, very bad and potentially jeopardise my job.
DP is a GP and has a 30 patient clinic tomorrow.

DD3 is ill. Some sort of virus, fever, headache, sore throat, no appetite. There’s no way she’ll be well enough for nursery tomorrow.

DP thinks I should stay home with her and I think he should. Up until this point I’ve been a SAHM so things like this weren’t an issue. He has never ever had to cancel work before.

Who gets to go to work tomorrow?