Verity Stob Archive • The Register

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Columnists

Developers feared large chaps carrying baseball bats could come to kneecap their ... test account?

Who, Me? A whole different kind of 'technical debt' turned into real-world trouble

Columnists20 Jan 2025 | 86

Why Google's Chrome monopoly won't crack anytime soon

Opinion Haven't we heard this story before?

Columnists23 Nov 2024 | 77

Huawei's farewell to Android isn't a marketing move, it's chess

Opinion HarmonyOS NEXT sounds dissonant until you get the theme

Columnists28 Oct 2024 | 126

The open secret of open washing – why companies pretend to be open source

Opinion Allowing pretenders to co-opt the term is bad for everyone

Columnists25 Oct 2024 | 45

Developer tried to dress for success, but ended up attired for an expensive outage

Who, Me? Debugging software on the waterfront is a strangely dangerous task

Columnists19 Aug 2024 | 160

Intel's processor failures: A cautionary tale of business vs engineering

Opinion Chipzilla taking some punches but could it stay down?

Columnists09 Aug 2024 | 94

The cybersecurity QA trifecta of fail that may burn down the world

Opinion Malware is often described as biology. It should be the other way around

Columnists05 Aug 2024 | 32

Techie's enthusiasm for decluttering fails to spark joy

Who, me? Thankfully, luck – and a handy greybeard – came to the rescue

Columnists06 May 2024 | 57

Time to study the classics: Vintage tech is the future of enterprise IT

Opinion Look back in wonder

Columnists16 Jan 2023 | 93

Killing trees with lasers isn’t cool, says Epson. So why are inkjets any better?

Imagine there's no printer drivers. It's easy if you can...

Columnists05 Dec 2022 | 121

Firefox points the way to eradicating one of the rudest words online: PDF

Comment The ghosts of dead trees haunt us still

Columnists24 Oct 2022 | 240

Rust is eating into our systems, and it's a good thing

Opinion Language wars, huh, what are they good for?

Columnists26 Sep 2022 | 124

The International Space Station will deorbit in glory. How's your legacy tech doing?

Opinion Your past projects may be a pain, but can they rain fiery death from above?

Columnists30 Aug 2022 | 101

You can never have too many backups. Also, you can never have too many backups

Who, Me? A Reg reader comes to appreciate the value of paper

Columnists29 Aug 2022 | 116

Big Tech is building the metaverse of its own dreams. You don't want to go there

Opinion No country for old menus

Columnists22 Aug 2022 | 105

We were promised integrated packages. Instead we got disintegrated apps

Something for the Weekend Not to mention the severely disadvantageous subscription model

Columnists19 Aug 2022 | 145

Psst … Want to buy a used IBM Selectric? No questions asked

On Call We would have got away with it too, if hadn't been for your perfectly reasonable user request

Columnists29 Jul 2022 | 174

Dell and Ubuntu certify latest model of XPS 13 ultrabook

Computer giant's Project Sputnik extends to the 2022 model series

Columnists21 Jul 2022 | 19

Getting that syncing feeling after an Exchange restore

Who, Me? We've got the whole weekend. What could go wrong?

Columnists04 Jul 2022 | 83

Seriously, you do not want to make that cable your earth

On Call Network? What's that when it's at home?

Columnists20 May 2022 | 253

Popular

VMware migrations will be long, expensive, risky, Gartner warns

And possibly even more so if you don’t start planning yours soon

Trump nukes 60 years of anti-discrimination rules for federal contractors

The (good old) boys are back in town

Atlassian's Bitbucket Cloud went down 'hard' today

Same, Big A, same

Patch procrastination leaves 50,000 Fortinet firewalls vulnerable to zero-day

Seven days after disclosure and little action taken, data shows

Trump hits undo on Biden AI safety order, EV mandate, emissions standards, and more

Also, prepare for paused wind projects and the Gulf of America from Trump 2.0 – and that's just day 1

China claims major fusion advance and record after 17-minute Tokamak run

1,066 seconds of steady-state high-confinement plasma operation and all that

UK aims to fix government IT with help from AI Humphrey

Ring a bell? Suite of tools named after Yes Minister's master of manipulation

HPE probes IntelBroker's bold data theft boasts

Incident response protocols engaged following claims of source code burglary

App stores unconvinced by Trump's TikTok ban pause, which may itself be on shaky legal ground

Analysis El Reg asked a lawyer to explain WTH is going on

Microsoft joins CISPE, the Euro cloud crew that tried to curb its licensing

Exclusive From fighters to friends in six months, despite AWS voting against it

MORE
STORIES

RISC-V needs more than an open architecture to compete

Opinion Arm shows us that even total domination doesn't always make stupid levels of money

Columnists16 May 2022 | 57

September 16, 1992, was not a good day to be overly enthusiastic about your job

Who, Me? If I get in early and work hard, everyone will notice, right?

Columnists16 May 2022 | 64

Confirmation dialog Groundhog Day: I click OK and it keeps coming back

Something for the Weekend Yes/No/Cancel culture at its worst

Columnists13 May 2022 | 145

Your AI can't tell you it's lying if it thinks it's telling the truth. That's a problem

Opinion Who knows what evil lurks in the heart of ML? Er, nobody

Columnists25 Apr 2022 | 52

In IT, no good deed ever goes unpunished

Who, Me? When being helpful can mean being shown the door

Columnists25 Apr 2022 | 71

The month I worked for DEADHEAD: Yes, that was their job title

Something for the Weekend? We can't have that contractor making us look bad

Columnists01 Apr 2022 | 71

Beware the techie who takes things literally

Who, Me? 'If it works already, why pay' says the boss... because of course he does

Columnists21 Feb 2022 | 94

Food for thought on the return to the office

Something for the Weekend? Quality time with human beings? Nah. Gimme some free Monster Munch

Columnists18 Feb 2022 | 87

File suffixes: Who needs them? Well, this guy did

On Call He followed the instructions... blindly

Columnists18 Feb 2022 | 206

Nothing's working, and I've checked everything, so it must be YOUR fault

On Call Yes, but are you sure? Really sure?

Columnists07 Jan 2022 | 164

Halo Infinite ups the nostalgia factor for fans of the originals, but it's not without limits

The RPG 343 Industries brings open world to the long-running military sci-fi epic

Columnists05 Jan 2022 | 11

The year ahead in technology fail: You knew they were bad, now they're going to prove it

Opinion Stock up on schadenfreude, it may be 2022's most popular commodity

Columnists04 Jan 2022 | 79

Predictive Dirty Dozen: What will and won't happen in 2022 (unless it doesn’t/does)

Something for the Weekend, Sir? We confidently predict that the predictions in this article will turn out wrong

Columnists31 Dec 2021 | 211

Microsoft Paint + car park touchscreen = You already know where this is going

12BoC I'll just pay the- OH MY GOD

Columnists26 Dec 2021 | 56

Not the kind of note you want to see fluttering from an ATM

12BoC This won't buy me beer

Columnists25 Dec 2021 | 34

Who you gonna call? Premium numbers, but a not-so-premium service

On Call Let me take you back – way back – to 1998

Columnists24 Dec 2021 | 134

Log4j and Omicron: Brothers in harm, mothers of invention

Opinion That which does not kill us can still ruin our Christmas

Columnists20 Dec 2021 | 36

A smarter alternative to password recognition could be right in front of us: Unique, invisible, maybe even deadly

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Take your breath awayyyyyyyy

Columnists03 Dec 2021 | 81

New World: Grindy? Check. Repetitive? Check. Fun? We hate to say it... but check

The RPG Goddamn it, Jeff Bezos' lot can make a passable MMORPG after all

Columnists30 Oct 2021 | 31

Config cockup leaves Reg reader reaching for the phone

Who, Me? Yet another thing that was really not better in the old days

Columnists11 Oct 2021 | 71

Get real: Say what you like about your app but don't be surprised if I trollsplain

Something for the Weekend, Sir? My next column will be written in spaaaaaace

Columnists08 Oct 2021 | 57

How to stop a content filter becoming a career-shortening network component

Who, Me? He's not just a Big Cheese. He's a very naughty boy

Columnists31 Aug 2021 | 69

When everyone else is on vacation, it's time to whip out the tiny screwdrivers

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Fixing laptops and solving UX conundra – all in a night’s work

Columnists27 Aug 2021 | 151

Fix five days of server failure with this one weird trick

On Call When you have eliminated the impossible...

Columnists27 Aug 2021 | 163

Horizon Workrooms promises a virtual future of teal despair

Opinion Only one company can make VR so bad it makes MS Teams look good – Facebook

Columnists23 Aug 2021 | 42

Hacking the computer with wirewraps and soldering irons: Just fix the issues as they come up, right?

Who, Me? The neverending battle betweeen youthful optimism and aged cyncism

Columnists23 Aug 2021 | 103

So the data centre's 'getting a little hot' – at 57°C, that's quite the understatement

On Call You know that thing that's supposed to put out the fire?

Columnists20 Aug 2021 | 102

Come fly with me. But first we need to find a boot device

Bork!Bork!Bork! An unexpected bork in the boarding area

Columnists11 Aug 2021 | 18

The web was done right the first time. An ancient 3D banana shows Microsoft does a lot right, too

Column It's wonderful that code written for Windows 3.1 still works well today

Columnists11 Aug 2021 | 136

How to keep your enterprise up to date by deploying the very latest malware

Who, Me? Salesmen suffer after suspicious surfing

Columnists19 Jul 2021 | 71

The world is chaos but my Zoom background is control-freak perfection

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Nudge that potted plant a little to the left aaaaand… action!

Columnists09 Jul 2021 | 96

If HAL did digital signage. I know I've made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that...

Bork!Bork!Bork! My God! It's full of Bork!

Columnists14 Jun 2021 | 17

Thanks, boss. The accidental creation of a lights-out data centre – what a fun surprise

Who, Me? At least nobody said 'watch this!'

Columnists07 Jun 2021 | 116

How many remote controls do you really need? Answer: about a bowl-ful

Something for the Weekend, Sir? I don’t care if the football’s on, we’ll have to watch whatever the TV wants us to

Columnists04 Jun 2021 | 148

Today I shall explain how dual monitors work using the medium of interpretive dance

On Call You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!

Columnists04 Jun 2021 | 150

Nobody expects the borkish bank-wisition: When I said I wanted some notes from the ATM, I never thought I'd see...

Bork!Bork!Bork! ...the vast emptiness of Notepad

Columnists28 May 2021 | 16

Nature is healing: Shhh. It's a lesser spotted Pi Bork nesting behind the bushes at IKEA

Bork!Bork!Bork! Hålp, I äm stuck in emergency möde

Columnists25 May 2021 | 25

Your private data has been nabbed: Please update your life as soon as possible while we deflect responsibility

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Because our golf-obsessed boss has wandered off fondling his balls

Columnists14 May 2021 | 86

Beijing steps on Alibaba's Ant Group by forcing it to submit to same regulation as banks

Requires Alipay to open to competition but stops short of ordering company break up

Columnists13 Apr 2021 | 9

How to ensure your tech predictions catch on in a flash? Do the mash

Something for the Weekend, Sir? All inventions should be demonstrated by a puppet doing a Tommy Cooper impression

Columnists09 Apr 2021 | 70

A floppy filled with software worth thousands of francs: Techie can't take it, customs won't keep it. What to do?

Who, Me? Halt and catch fire

Columnists05 Apr 2021 | 177

Easily distracted by too many apps, too many meetings, and too much asparagus

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Nothing like a steaming bowl of freshly picked spaghetti

Columnists02 Apr 2021 | 75

Yep, you're totally unique: That one very special user and their very special problem

On Call Register reader finds that some Apple fans are... not very bright?

Columnists02 Apr 2021 | 195

A Code War has replaced The Cold War. And right now we’re losing it

Column There’s always someone to blame for bad infosec, but never a willingness to make meaningful change

Columnists10 Mar 2021 | 85

Stob's vital message to Britain's IT nation: And no, it's not about that

Stob It's actually another Huawei down the 5G antennas

Devops01 Apr 2020 | 28

Verity Stob is 'Disgusted of HG Wells': Time, gentlemen, please

Stob Drinking the Kool-Aid outside the box

Columnists28 Jan 2020 | 58

In Rust We Trust: Stob gets behind the latest language craze

Stob My, what beautiful curly braces you have

Devops27 Nov 2019 | 117

The Pi who loved me: Licensed to SSL

Stob Wherein Verity is troubled by a curious spam

Devops16 Jul 2019 | 29

Programmers' Question Time: Tiptoe through the tuples

Stob Addressing the pro-horticulture/anti-nerdiculture bias

Devops23 May 2019 | 38

Everyday doings of a metropolitan techie: Stob's software diary

Stob Chronicles of Delphi scribe podcasts, er, scribbles her musings

Columnists23 Jan 2019 | 52

That Old Time 2018 IT songbook: Verity, Verity - give us your lyrics, do! We're half crazy, all for the love of you

Stob It's sing-along-a-Stob time

Devops14 Nov 2018 | 20

30-up: You know what? Those really weren't the days

Stob Happy anniversary, readers, from the original Git it girl

Devops20 Sep 2018 | 143

The harbingers of Doomwatch: Quist is quite the quasi-Quatermass

Stob Bug behaviour in the wild

Columnists21 May 2018 | 36

There are 10 types of people in the world, but there is only one Melvyn

Stob Verity puts a Bragg in your shell-like

Columnists28 Mar 2018 | 42

2001: A Stob Odyssey

Open the chuffing pod bay doors yourself, Dave

Devops28 Nov 2017 | 22

Programming in the Middle Ages: Docker makes a lovely pair of trousers

Stob Lest we forget

Devops19 Sep 2017 | 56

Miss Misery on hacking Mr Robot and the Missing Sense of Fun

Stob He's both the sharpest tool AND two spanners short

Columnists28 Mar 2017 | 88

Seven pet h8s: Verity is sorely vexed

Stob Where's pocket Bjarne Stroustrup when you need him?

Columnists20 Jan 2017 | 57

Brexit at the next junction: Verity's guide to key post-vote skills

STOB Breaking up is hard to do

Devops26 Sep 2016 | 75

Washed out summer? Fear ye not: DVDs for DevOps droogs

Stob Virtual box sets for REAL IT pros

Columnists26 Jul 2016 | 23

The Sons of Kahn and the Witch of Wookey

Stob Verily, they did make support for the Internet of Things

Columnists20 May 2016 | 48

Alice, Bob and Verity, too. Yeah, everybody's got a story, pal

Stob Bus bore claims saucy crypto bragging rights

Columnists07 Mar 2016 | 45

Learn you Func Prog on five minute quick!

Stob I remember the Monoids; they came before the Cybermen

Devops13 Jan 2016 | 138

A Bombe Called Christopher, or A Very Poor Imitation

Stob Verity publishes the real script of Turing biopic The Imitation Game

Columnists26 Jan 2015 | 59

V. R. R. Stob's magnificent saga A Game Of Dog-and-Bones

Stob GUARANTEED no elves and hardly any violence. Or incest

Columnists18 Dec 2014 | 26

Today's bugs have BRANDS? Be still my bleeding heart [logo]

Stob Code-slinger Verity reviews the rash of groovy-named open-source security vulns

Columnists01 May 2014 | 108

Eight EXCELLENT languages for the fondleslab-friendly Intranet of Thingies

Stob Shifting software paradigms and so forth

Columnists20 Jan 2014 | 54

Three Men in a Tardis

Stob Verity has discovered a pre-Doctor Doctor Who episode

Columnists12 Nov 2013 | 35

Down with Unicode! Why 16 bits per character is a right pain in the ASCII

Stob We were sold a lie. It's time to go back to 8-bit

Columnists04 Oct 2013 | 198

Verity's summer songs for programmers: Sing your pals to sleep()

Stob When Irish IDEs are smiling, and so on

Devops22 Jul 2013 | 8

Bjarne Again: Hallelujah for C++

Stob Plus: Now officially OK to admit you never used STL algorithms

Columnists17 Jun 2013 | 102

In space, no one can hear your laptop Blue Screen

Stob Way above the Cloud, there's a bring-your-own-disaster brewing on the ISS

OSes07 May 2013 | 14

Six things a text editor must do - or it's a one-way trip to the trash

Stob Does your source code editor pass the Verity test?

Columnists11 Mar 2013 | 227

Who ate all the Pis?

Stob Verity Xmas wish comes true

Columnists29 Jan 2013 | 84

8086 and All That. Revisited

Stob Back when England was Top Nation in computing: reassembled from ancient parchments

Columnists22 Dec 2012 | 27

The Sons of Kahn and the assembly language of the internet

Stob C# hath become a lonely path. And the Beast hath shut its gates against us

Columnists11 Dec 2012 | 49

Stob on Quatermass: Was this British TV's finest sci-fi hour?

Stob Special Let's shake the dead fly out of the DVD

Columnists08 Nov 2012 | 59

Five go wild with the Administration Tools Pack

Stob Nobody owns the Linuxes, Julian

Columnists23 Oct 2012 | 17

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love IPv6

Stob You make my heart go Ping

Columnists21 Aug 2012 | 79

Welcome, friend, to Metroland

Stob You Betjeman

Columnists09 Jul 2012 | 30

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